Saturday, January 21, 2012

My apology to Mark Driscoll

Dear Pastor Mark,

I just want to take this time to apologize.  It is no secret that I am not a fan and I have spent some time recently pointing out times I think you are arrogant, a hypocrite, misinformed, obviously taking the Bible out of context and being a bully.

That includes pointing out what I thought was a terrible unfair misrepresentation of at-home dads in this video.

Some friends have told me about all the great work you do and I needed to look at the speck in my own eye.  So I took some time to reflect, to watch the video again.  And since doing that I am now offering up this apology to you.

Once I reflected back on my life I can see that you were right.  I am "Little Boy Larry."

I grew up in a small midwestern town.  And sure, I had some summer jobs.  But looking back they were really lazy man jobs like bailing hay and walking beans.  Even as a teenager I was on my way to lazy town.

Then I went to college.  I don't think we even half to mention that academia is a synonym for lazy ass.  Plus, in hindsight, I was obviously only after my MR degree.  After graduation I did some freelance work (can't hold down a job.)  Then decided to go to graduate school (already covered academia.)

It was in graduate school that I met the woman that would become my wife.  While I didn't know originally what she was studying or wanting to do with her life, it seems obvious looking back that I was planning that she was either was from a wealthy Texas oil family or planning a career that could carry my lazy ass.

And boy was I in luck.  She was becoming a doctor.  Sure, I thought I was in love at the time, but as we know from the Bible, marriage is usually more of a business transaction.

At the end of that year I took a temporary (can't hold down a job) teaching job in Arkansas and she started medical school in San Antonio.

After completing my one year job I moved to San Antonio.  I worked a couple of jobs (still can't hold down a job) including working for the DOD and St Phillips College.  During that time my wife and I got married.  Woooo Hoooo.

Sure, after we got married I continued to work because, well, medical school doesn't pay students, in fact it is the other way around.

After my wife graduated medical school we moved to Louisville for my wife's residency.  Sure, my wife was a doctor, but residency doesn't pay well so I got a job as well at the University of Louisville.  In the middle of that 3 years we had our first child.  Since my wife was in residency I was the primary caregiver for our child while I continued to work full time.  On the express lane to lazy town.

Then, when she finished residency and we moved for her first job I became a full time at-home dad.  Easy Street!  All I had to do was take care of an 18th month old child.  Changing diapers, feedings, up every 3 hours, cleaning the house, laundry, cooking, shopping.

I found myself playing with the kids, just like you describe.  Taking the lazy way out rather that the more macho sitting on the couch with drinks and watching the kids, like a man.

So, now reflecting on it I realize that you were right.  I was just a "Little Boy Larry."  Your wife stays at home, so you know that it isn't work.  And, as you and your wife have explained, women are built by God to take care of kids, so it must be even easier for her.  I would be surprised if she wakes up before noon.

Even my wardrobe is "Little Boy Larry." When I had a "real job" I wore slacks and ties and grown up clothes. Now my wardrobe consist of jeans and ironic t-shirts.
So I apologize and I thank you for continuing to harp on guys who provide for their family by raising their kids and taking care of their homes.

You have really opened my eyes.


Little Boy Larry