Saturday, January 21, 2012

My apology to Mark Driscoll

Dear Pastor Mark,

I just want to take this time to apologize.  It is no secret that I am not a fan and I have spent some time recently pointing out times I think you are arrogant, a hypocrite, misinformed, obviously taking the Bible out of context and being a bully.

That includes pointing out what I thought was a terrible unfair misrepresentation of at-home dads in this video.

Some friends have told me about all the great work you do and I needed to look at the speck in my own eye.  So I took some time to reflect, to watch the video again.  And since doing that I am now offering up this apology to you.

Once I reflected back on my life I can see that you were right.  I am "Little Boy Larry."

I grew up in a small midwestern town.  And sure, I had some summer jobs.  But looking back they were really lazy man jobs like bailing hay and walking beans.  Even as a teenager I was on my way to lazy town.

Then I went to college.  I don't think we even half to mention that academia is a synonym for lazy ass.  Plus, in hindsight, I was obviously only after my MR degree.  After graduation I did some freelance work (can't hold down a job.)  Then decided to go to graduate school (already covered academia.)

It was in graduate school that I met the woman that would become my wife.  While I didn't know originally what she was studying or wanting to do with her life, it seems obvious looking back that I was planning that she was either was from a wealthy Texas oil family or planning a career that could carry my lazy ass.

And boy was I in luck.  She was becoming a doctor.  Sure, I thought I was in love at the time, but as we know from the Bible, marriage is usually more of a business transaction.

At the end of that year I took a temporary (can't hold down a job) teaching job in Arkansas and she started medical school in San Antonio.

After completing my one year job I moved to San Antonio.  I worked a couple of jobs (still can't hold down a job) including working for the DOD and St Phillips College.  During that time my wife and I got married.  Woooo Hoooo.

Sure, after we got married I continued to work because, well, medical school doesn't pay students, in fact it is the other way around.

After my wife graduated medical school we moved to Louisville for my wife's residency.  Sure, my wife was a doctor, but residency doesn't pay well so I got a job as well at the University of Louisville.  In the middle of that 3 years we had our first child.  Since my wife was in residency I was the primary caregiver for our child while I continued to work full time.  On the express lane to lazy town.

Then, when she finished residency and we moved for her first job I became a full time at-home dad.  Easy Street!  All I had to do was take care of an 18th month old child.  Changing diapers, feedings, up every 3 hours, cleaning the house, laundry, cooking, shopping.

I found myself playing with the kids, just like you describe.  Taking the lazy way out rather that the more macho sitting on the couch with drinks and watching the kids, like a man.

So, now reflecting on it I realize that you were right.  I was just a "Little Boy Larry."  Your wife stays at home, so you know that it isn't work.  And, as you and your wife have explained, women are built by God to take care of kids, so it must be even easier for her.  I would be surprised if she wakes up before noon.

Even my wardrobe is "Little Boy Larry." When I had a "real job" I wore slacks and ties and grown up clothes. Now my wardrobe consist of jeans and ironic t-shirts.
So I apologize and I thank you for continuing to harp on guys who provide for their family by raising their kids and taking care of their homes.

You have really opened my eyes.


Little Boy Larry


Al Watts said...

I too should atone for my sins and apologize. When I first met my wife I knew she was my ticket to continuing my life as a slacker. She accepted a part-time job in another state and convinced me to move there when we got married even though I didn't have any job prospects. Of course it took little convincing because I knew it was only a matter of time before she made the big bucks with that non-profit so I could watch Oprah all day. I bided my time at my job making more than her for 3 years until she finally landed a corporate job and then bided my time making about the same amount as her for another 4 years until we had kids. That's when I got on easy street! We had 4 kids within 6 years, moved three (each when the youngest was 6 months old), changed over 12,000 diapers, cleaned up more puke than I care to remember and tried to keep the house somewhat clean while 4 small people seemed intent on destroying things faster than I could clean them.

Yep, I've managed to get the slacker "cake-eater" life just like you, Chad, and I feel awful. If I ever get a moment alone in the bathroom, I just might have the time to pray for myself and hopefully will get forgiveness for not "manning up" and pounding the keyboard of my computer in a cubicle for 10 hours instead of whimping out and providing the care our children needed to grow and become the next generation.

Randy said...

I'm sorry, too. I'm the guy who called you an a-hole. Not the best thing to call a man of God. I guess I'm the real a-hole. See, I was projecting my own personal rage on you. I started out my adult life with the goal of becoming a teacher. After landing my first teaching job, I immediately began working on my Master's degree in hopes of becoming a principal. So unlike by fellow Little Boy Larry's, I started out my adult life in a manly lifestyle. My wife, whom I met in college, is also a teacher. After completing my master's degree while working full time, I had a sort of epiphany. Why was I busting my butt working when my wife was making the big money as a public school teacher? I could stay at home and take all the "me time" I wanted. Kids practically raise them selves these days, right? And then we found out that we were going to have a second kiddo, who I've nicked name "Job Security." With two, they can raise each other. So, i guess what I am trying to say is, I'm sorry for calling you an a-hole. You're still a douche bag. (You called me out for not being a real man- but you did it while wearing guy liner. Really?)

J A Y B said...

Perfectly put guys.