Monday, September 30, 2013

What are you trying to say?

I didn't want to get misrepresent what was said, so whenever possible I embed the actual Facebook or Twitter post. Any direct quote from Facebook or Blog replies are in red.

So a little corner of the interwebs kind of went crazy last week.

Apparently it started when D.A.D- Dad All Day shared this Facebook post.

Now this is something many at-home dads have to deal with.

In response, High Gloss and Sauce penned this column, Advice to stay-at-home-dads from a cold, cold playground mom

This is not a new idea. If you search Google you kind find all kind of articles on the subject.

Personally I have seen it before so I didn't even comment on her article, but several dads jumped on about the sexism in her statements.

And several dad bloggers had blogs replying to the post.

What I found much more interesting than her article was her reaction to the push back.

She said that she doesn't want drama.

However she seems to create drama.

One dad did accuse her of editing her blog. After she pointed out that she had deleted comments he quickly apologized because it was a comment, not the blog post, he was thinking of. Here is that exchange.

Somehow that became multiple Facebook & Twitter post about how she was unfairly attacked for editing her blog.

In her latest post she writes "I'm not willing to take on the internet militia and defend every idea into cyber death (I do have other things to do in my day,) but if you want to have a conversation with me about how I protect and value my marriage, I'm an open book - in person, online or if offered, the opportunity to sky write."

But while she will take to Twitter and Facebook about one person mistakingly accusing her of rewriting her blog, and she will interact with those that call her names and will certainly reply to those who defend and support her, she doesn't seem interested in replying to civil questions about what she was trying to say.

At the end of the day I think the problem is that it is unclear what she is trying to say.

This is the paragraph from her original post that probably sums it up best.

So why are the ladies not meeting up with you? I'll say it to you straight. It's because being a stay-at-home mom is a precarious position itself. We have zero income and rely on the goodness of our relationship with our spouse in order to care for our own children all day. I'll just be honest with you. I love my husband to pieces and pieces. I'd pick him out of all the stars in in the sky, but even if he morphed into a troll who demanded I fix him 300 sandwiches, I'd carry on like I do without missing a beat. I get to be with my kids all day. That's a gift. If there was any drama or reason for him to leave me, it would mean leaving my kids to get a job in some cube somewhere. No, he's never expressly said "thou shalt not hang with stay-at-home-dads", but I believe the message is implied along with not setting his car on fire and sneaking poison in his breakfast. If I want to keep my spot in life, it's just easier to not rock the boat.
She got mad when someone understood this to be similar to cheating. (she compares it to poisoning her husband) "Is anyone actually reading my post? I also did not say play dates with SAHDs is tantamount to cheating. Geez, my husband couldn't care less what I do. I just don't think he'd be wild about me play dating with guys int he same way I do with other moms."

But then what is she saying it is?

It is obviously about sex because when asked about hanging with gay dads or lesbian moms she said, "I'd make an exception for a gay dad. Lesbian moms are no problem at all. I've known a few of them and it didn't cross my mind to be anything out of the norm. It's really the straight man thing."

And she shared how she would be comfortable right now. "I'm hugely pregnant with my 3rd right now too, so I'd be equally as comfortable. Think about when you only had one toddler and you darted around town though. Hanging out with a guy all day? I'm just admitting the truth."

She said it is not about at-home dads motivations.

If you read my post, I underscored the idea that it has nothing to do with the motivations of the SAHDs. No one is accusing you of anything."

But then offers this as "proof"

UPDATE: I just received this email from a supportive SAHD,

"I understand where you're coming from ... I'd bang you if I had the chance ,)

(that's why I go out on group play dates only )"

Point = proven.

One email from some creep (and if you email some stranger, especially if both of you are married, and say you would "bang" them I think creep applies) doesn't prove a point any more than this mom proves women shouldn't be in charge of children.

And she complains that, "It gets really awkward when you have to nurse and they're lurking around play group."

If you don't like breast feeding in front of people of the opposite sex, or in any public situation, I totally understand. I don't like showering in the giant open room that is the YMCAs men's shower. But we are not lurking to catch a glimpse of your breast. Most of us are married and have fine breast we can go home and see without the drama and without an infant attached to it.

Not only are a lot of people confused about what she is trying to say, I'm honestly not even sure if she knows what she is trying to say.

She says her husband doesn't care, but he wouldn't like it.

She says it is not about the motivation of dads, but a dad saying he would "bang" her is proof.

She says she hates internet name calling, but calls people who disagree with her "little man boys."

If you can figure out what her original post is about can you share it with the rest of us?

This image accompanied her original post. I guess it is suppose to represent at-home dads?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

The woman is mentally disturbed. That can be the only answer for this dis-jointed emotion-fed craziness she calls "writing".